Practice = permanent?

I’m excited out of my mind

I’m scared out of my mind

…

Actually, too much in of my mind.

I’ve done some work on self growth.

I’ve understood all the patterns, triggers and beliefs systems.

I got it.

I take leaps into my deepest self.

And like a handyman, I repair the visible damages. And some invisible ones too.

I’m on it!

All on in it.

I get proud, compassionate and tall!

I dance and ruffle my soul.

I’m proud.

…

I’m exited for the new beginnings

Later, I found myself being rough with myself, messy and unkind.

It hurts to notice it.

All this previous achievements seem to go straight to the garbage.

The knowledge, the practice … all down the drain faster than a free fall from the sky.

… where are the MORE efficient practices ?

The ones I learn and don’t go away.

Where?